In Effort To Gather Support For Health Care Bill, White House Throws In $20 Gift Card to Applebee's

In a clear sign of president Barack Obama's deepening resolve to pass health care reform, the White House announced today that "every American family will receive a $20 gift card to Appleebee's if the health care bill becomes law."
As expected, Republicans seized on the proposal, with Senator Mitch McConnell (R-KY) citing it as "another example of the White House being out of touch with the will of the people. Everybody knows that Waffle House, Chick-Fil-A, or Cracker Barrel would have been far better choices."
Immediate reaction from the public, however, seems to show broad support for the so called "Applebee's Rider".
"It's about time Washington got something done," says Terry Phillips, a 32 year-old unemployed autoworker from Dearborn, Michigan. "I don't really give a shit about what's in the bill, but I do know that my old lady loves her some Riblets. Maybe that will keep her yap shut for an hour or two."